When we were deciding to homeschool about 15 years ago, my wife and I wrote down separate lists of reasons to homeschool. This was mine:
-for the fun and challenge of it
-to share an experience with your child
-to read the same books
-to continue our own education
-it seems natural
-you like your kids, and there’s plenty of time later to NOT be around them
-freedom
-to curb the compulsory part of school
-to avoid the herd-like nature of school
-to keep home the organic center of life
-to foster the sense that learning is not a specialized activity–education is not the province of “trained experts”
-to keep the idea of education as career training to a minimum
-school gives the impression that knowledge is impractical because it’s so far removed from the rest of life
-who knows what they’re doing in those classrooms?
(That last one was a bit facetious. I’d worked in schools, both public and private, so I knew pretty well what they were doing and it was a pretty mixed bag.)
thank you for this encouraging post! I've always loved the idea of homeschooling, even before I became Christian. However life did not ever make it possible for us and I've made my peace with it. I love the point you make about how in the Bible Christians are not called to live safe lives. I do think there are times the secular world can lead believers astray, but perhaps there's other ways to prevent this from happening. Your post made me think of a Mike Winger video I was watching and how he talks about how we can give our children immunity from unbelief, in the forms of good arguments to common objections to Christianity. This we can do by talking to our children about what they learn out school and how we might think differently. It's not easy though, I fail all the time, but I do trust God with my child and I know it is not in God's plan for me to homeschool at this point, or perhaps ever!
You’re welcome! And yes, good conversations with our kids are so necessary. I was trained in apologetics as part of my homeschool curriculum, but because I wasn’t exposed to much of the real world I only realized much later that the objections most regular people have to Christianity cannot easily be answered with the ontological argument for God’s existence. Only real relationships could prepare me to explore their doubts and questions.
You show beautiful humility and confidence to make a decision you see as best for your family and be open to change if God changes your situation.
My husband and I both had a mix of Catholic school, public school, and homeschool when we were growing up. I think because of this we see a schooling decision as a year to year "what is best for our family and this child at this time" decision and not a "locked in for over a decade" kind of decision.
I don't have a strong desire to homeschool and we're blessed to have a classical Catholic school an easy drive away. If we didn't have that school, I'd homeschool, though I'd definitely join a homeschool co-op. Though she's young, I can see that the personality of my eldest benefits from being in a classroom of children who are all listening to instructions and following them. My second doesn't have that same personality. So whatever schooling decision we make each year for each child will be based on our observations of our children and their needs as well as the season our family is in.
When I was working full time and my husband was in grad school, we had a nanny. Judgy people on the Internet could say "there's only one right answer!!! You must... [fill in whatever]" but I think life is more complex and beautiful than that. We'd rather pray and take one step at a time in what we judge best for now for our family than fit "the correct" cookie cutter of the moment.
This is a thoughtful and nuanced approach to a subject that creates so much defensiveness on both sides! Thank you!
I was public schooled, and I had a mostly positive school experience. I excelled academically and attended a smallish country school, so that's probably why. We chose to homeschool fairly early in our oldest child's toddler years. I had received a degree in English education just a couple years before our oldest was born, but I wasn't sure I wanted to life of a typical classroom teacher. I stayed home with him as a baby and toddler, and then baby number two arrived. Going to the classroom to teach and choosing public education for our kids was never off the table, but I knew when the boys were approaching school age that I just loved being with them and loved creating a learning environment as a family. Babies number 3 and 4 solidified our decision.
I admit, at the beginning, I was was nervous about the worldly influences my kids might encounter in public school, but I was more worried about making such a big decision for my kids based on fear alone. Every year those early years I would ask God if this was still the right path for our kids and family, and every year the doors stayed open to continue.
As the kids got older, we included them in the decision making about school. They were very young when my husband joined the Navy and became a chaplain. At that point, we'd had 3 successful homeschool years, and we just kept going. Homeschooling has allowed us to the flexibility to live this nomadic life while keeping the kids education stable.
I have found the militant posture that many of the homeschooling families we have met in all of our travels to be troubling. So much based on fear and comparison, us vs them. Whenever the conversation turns to us vs them, red flags abound! At the same time, as we near the end of this season of our family's life, I'm so thankful for the time I got to spend with my kids. We were able to take time off when we needed to move or reconnect after a deployment, we were able to travel and experience life in so many places together, and we got to individualize the kids' education while still encouraging them to be good citizens and work for the good of the whole family or community.
We have five kids, and the youngest is about to start her senior year this fall. They are all really great, kind, grace-filled people. My favorite people. None of the kids are super high achievers, but we did encourage them to attend college, while still giving them space to choose work or apprenticeship etc if that was what they wanted.
I'm sorry this comment turned into an essay! Maybe what I'm still asking is are we okay? Am I doing this right? I just want them to live faithfully and humbly, to love and serve God and others well, to see the world with wonder and curiosity. And to find a way to pay their bills. haha But I know our choices aren't the only way to reach those goals.
I loved hearing some of your story, Jody, and kudos to raising and educating 5 humans! 🙌🏼 I love your posture of considering what was best for your unique situation and then stepping onto that path with joy and expectation instead of with fear or the need to “prove” something.
Spot on. School is such a hard decision for parents. The best decision is the one that works best for your family.
I ran in blogging circles, where so many women bloggers homeschooled and used to make me feel so guilty about having a job, and said that homeschooling was a higher calling. But my husband and I have made the decision we have made because it works for our family.
We wanted our kids to stay in public school so we kept them there until we couldn’t anymore. We were sad to take them out of the system because we believe in public school, however it wasn’t working for their mental health so the best choice for us was to put them in private school .
I’m glad people feel strongly about the choices they make for their own families. I just get peeved when they start to believe (and communicate) that everyone should reach the same conclusion they did.
On a legit Facebook account with lots of followers she said that women who have jobs, and aren’t at home serving their husbands and children is the work of demons.
I was homeschooled for four years and went to a small Christian school the rest of the time. We’ve done a variety of things for school over the years but currently all four of our children are in public schools. I do love the deep connection with our community. Also, two of our children have learning disabilities (one is intellectually disabled) and we could not manage their needs at home. The local Christian schools won’t take them either. It’s been an interesting perspective shift on what’s the right way to educate.
These would have been considered extreme exceptions to the homeschooling “rule” when I was growing up, and still I never heard them discussed. I’d love to hear more about what that community connection looks like for you.
Yes, there is so much freedom to think through the reasons for our choices while also knowing we can have other reasons and make other choices in the future.
When we were deciding to homeschool about 15 years ago, my wife and I wrote down separate lists of reasons to homeschool. This was mine:
-for the fun and challenge of it
-to share an experience with your child
-to read the same books
-to continue our own education
-it seems natural
-you like your kids, and there’s plenty of time later to NOT be around them
-freedom
-to curb the compulsory part of school
-to avoid the herd-like nature of school
-to keep home the organic center of life
-to foster the sense that learning is not a specialized activity–education is not the province of “trained experts”
-to keep the idea of education as career training to a minimum
-school gives the impression that knowledge is impractical because it’s so far removed from the rest of life
-who knows what they’re doing in those classrooms?
(That last one was a bit facetious. I’d worked in schools, both public and private, so I knew pretty well what they were doing and it was a pretty mixed bag.)
This is a great and thorough list!
thank you for this encouraging post! I've always loved the idea of homeschooling, even before I became Christian. However life did not ever make it possible for us and I've made my peace with it. I love the point you make about how in the Bible Christians are not called to live safe lives. I do think there are times the secular world can lead believers astray, but perhaps there's other ways to prevent this from happening. Your post made me think of a Mike Winger video I was watching and how he talks about how we can give our children immunity from unbelief, in the forms of good arguments to common objections to Christianity. This we can do by talking to our children about what they learn out school and how we might think differently. It's not easy though, I fail all the time, but I do trust God with my child and I know it is not in God's plan for me to homeschool at this point, or perhaps ever!
You’re welcome! And yes, good conversations with our kids are so necessary. I was trained in apologetics as part of my homeschool curriculum, but because I wasn’t exposed to much of the real world I only realized much later that the objections most regular people have to Christianity cannot easily be answered with the ontological argument for God’s existence. Only real relationships could prepare me to explore their doubts and questions.
You show beautiful humility and confidence to make a decision you see as best for your family and be open to change if God changes your situation.
My husband and I both had a mix of Catholic school, public school, and homeschool when we were growing up. I think because of this we see a schooling decision as a year to year "what is best for our family and this child at this time" decision and not a "locked in for over a decade" kind of decision.
I don't have a strong desire to homeschool and we're blessed to have a classical Catholic school an easy drive away. If we didn't have that school, I'd homeschool, though I'd definitely join a homeschool co-op. Though she's young, I can see that the personality of my eldest benefits from being in a classroom of children who are all listening to instructions and following them. My second doesn't have that same personality. So whatever schooling decision we make each year for each child will be based on our observations of our children and their needs as well as the season our family is in.
When I was working full time and my husband was in grad school, we had a nanny. Judgy people on the Internet could say "there's only one right answer!!! You must... [fill in whatever]" but I think life is more complex and beautiful than that. We'd rather pray and take one step at a time in what we judge best for now for our family than fit "the correct" cookie cutter of the moment.
Truth! It’s hard to be salt to the salt bin! 😀 And have you shared your dry sourdough method? I would love to know about that.
This is a thoughtful and nuanced approach to a subject that creates so much defensiveness on both sides! Thank you!
I was public schooled, and I had a mostly positive school experience. I excelled academically and attended a smallish country school, so that's probably why. We chose to homeschool fairly early in our oldest child's toddler years. I had received a degree in English education just a couple years before our oldest was born, but I wasn't sure I wanted to life of a typical classroom teacher. I stayed home with him as a baby and toddler, and then baby number two arrived. Going to the classroom to teach and choosing public education for our kids was never off the table, but I knew when the boys were approaching school age that I just loved being with them and loved creating a learning environment as a family. Babies number 3 and 4 solidified our decision.
I admit, at the beginning, I was was nervous about the worldly influences my kids might encounter in public school, but I was more worried about making such a big decision for my kids based on fear alone. Every year those early years I would ask God if this was still the right path for our kids and family, and every year the doors stayed open to continue.
As the kids got older, we included them in the decision making about school. They were very young when my husband joined the Navy and became a chaplain. At that point, we'd had 3 successful homeschool years, and we just kept going. Homeschooling has allowed us to the flexibility to live this nomadic life while keeping the kids education stable.
I have found the militant posture that many of the homeschooling families we have met in all of our travels to be troubling. So much based on fear and comparison, us vs them. Whenever the conversation turns to us vs them, red flags abound! At the same time, as we near the end of this season of our family's life, I'm so thankful for the time I got to spend with my kids. We were able to take time off when we needed to move or reconnect after a deployment, we were able to travel and experience life in so many places together, and we got to individualize the kids' education while still encouraging them to be good citizens and work for the good of the whole family or community.
We have five kids, and the youngest is about to start her senior year this fall. They are all really great, kind, grace-filled people. My favorite people. None of the kids are super high achievers, but we did encourage them to attend college, while still giving them space to choose work or apprenticeship etc if that was what they wanted.
I'm sorry this comment turned into an essay! Maybe what I'm still asking is are we okay? Am I doing this right? I just want them to live faithfully and humbly, to love and serve God and others well, to see the world with wonder and curiosity. And to find a way to pay their bills. haha But I know our choices aren't the only way to reach those goals.
Thanks again for a great post!
xoxo
I loved hearing some of your story, Jody, and kudos to raising and educating 5 humans! 🙌🏼 I love your posture of considering what was best for your unique situation and then stepping onto that path with joy and expectation instead of with fear or the need to “prove” something.
Dry starter method? Do tell me more!
I’ll DM you!
Spot on. School is such a hard decision for parents. The best decision is the one that works best for your family.
I ran in blogging circles, where so many women bloggers homeschooled and used to make me feel so guilty about having a job, and said that homeschooling was a higher calling. But my husband and I have made the decision we have made because it works for our family.
We wanted our kids to stay in public school so we kept them there until we couldn’t anymore. We were sad to take them out of the system because we believe in public school, however it wasn’t working for their mental health so the best choice for us was to put them in private school .
Thanks for a great post!
I’m glad people feel strongly about the choices they make for their own families. I just get peeved when they start to believe (and communicate) that everyone should reach the same conclusion they did.
On a legit Facebook account with lots of followers she said that women who have jobs, and aren’t at home serving their husbands and children is the work of demons.
🤦🏽♀️
I was homeschooled for four years and went to a small Christian school the rest of the time. We’ve done a variety of things for school over the years but currently all four of our children are in public schools. I do love the deep connection with our community. Also, two of our children have learning disabilities (one is intellectually disabled) and we could not manage their needs at home. The local Christian schools won’t take them either. It’s been an interesting perspective shift on what’s the right way to educate.
These would have been considered extreme exceptions to the homeschooling “rule” when I was growing up, and still I never heard them discussed. I’d love to hear more about what that community connection looks like for you.
Yes, there is so much freedom to think through the reasons for our choices while also knowing we can have other reasons and make other choices in the future.